March Pyro Update, Part 1: Step Back and Make a Plan

The beginning of March has brought a ton of rain, tough conversations, and a fair bit of anxiety. 

My yard is currently under water. ("At least it's not a drought. At least it's not a drought. At least it's not a drought...")

First, Pyro's PSSM1 test results came in from UC Davis. He is negative (N/N). This is good since he doesn't have an incurable genetic disease that can only be managed, but also means I need to look at other options for tailoring his management. 

Those results arrived on the day I trimmed Pyro for the month and checked saddle fit. 

Fresh trim pics
Bonus: Tessa's judgmental face

As I was squaring him up post trim, I picked up his right hind to bring it forward, and he took a swipe at me with that hoof. (He got a swift, brief correction that had him scooting out of my space as much as the crossties allowed. Then, I returned to squaring him up.) Not going to lie, it was disheartening to deal with him choosing to communicate in that way, especially in light of the progress I thought we were making on safely "using his words" by not nipping. I realize kicking is a completely different behavior, and I DID find a big knot in his right glutes, but kicking at humans has never been acceptable behavior in his life. It was a glaring reminder that I've got my work cut out for me.

Using the WOW saddle gauge

Looking at saddle fit, it should have been unsurprising that he changed dramatically in the past month of consistent work. He needs to switch from a 3U headplate to a 2V headplate. I didn't have those on hand, so I got them on order ASAP and refrained from riding until I could refit his saddle.

He was moving in a way that I found worrisome. He didn't appear lame in any one leg, but he was traveling really dropped in his chest, bracing in the base of his neck with his head and neck carried upright and stiff. He was also landing flat or toe-first with his front feet instead of heel-first. It didn't look comfortable. I'm embarrassed to say I spiraled in response, worrying about his neck/back/sacrum, checking if I could haul him hours away to have a full eval by a(n expensive) sports medicine vet, and feeling at a loss for what my next step should be. (General anxiety over the state of the world was partly to blame for this, unfortunately.)

Me: *spiraling*
Pyro: What's your problem?

At the height of my anxiety, I had some uncomfortable conversations about Pyro with my husband and some of my horsey friends. They all have their own biases, but it became clear to me that I needed to take a step back, look at everything realistically (and calmly), and formulate a plan that is fair to Pyro and those around him. (I'll get back to that in a minute.)

Photo from the last time I rode before checking saddle fit. During this ride he was willing to walk, but expressed reluctance to trot.

As I waited for his headplates, his new "beater harness" arrived from Two Horse Tack. He is ready to learn about wearing a breeching and dragging something. However, the antique fine harness we've been using for ground driving is set up with thimbles instead of a breeching, and the traces are so old and cracked that I don't trust them to bear any weight. The saddle and breeching I ordered are from THT's "Affordable" line, and while I recognize that it lacks many features of nicer harnesses (like the one I drive Missy in), it suits my needs and was inexpensive enough that I won't cry if Pyro breaks it. (Side note: THT's customer service is top notch. They answered all my questions, kept me informed of my order's status, and ensured the harness fit as intended.)

Introducing the breeching on the lunge. He didn't mind it one bit.

After the PSSM1 test results came in, I allowed myself to take a day off from the strict 20 minutes of structured movement I'd been providing Pyro. There are truly too many variables to be sure, but I believe the improvement in comfort I saw over the next few days was driven by giving him a rest day and refraining from saddling him. 

He offered to reach over his topline, but would occasionally dub a front toe.

This was further supported by our first ride under saddle once the headplates arrived. He was a bit fussy with his head the first time we trotted, but gone was the reluctance to move forward or lift his withers. In fact, he was feeling improved enough that I asked him to trot over a single pole as an experiment. He offered this:

Well okay then. It appears he can lift his front end.

Blowing a kiss to the eternally patient and supportive horse husband while Pyro walks out comfortably. 

The fussy head shaking he offered once, the first time we picked up the trot.

I think that brings us all up to speed on the current State of Pyro. Come with me as I organize my thoughts on what I'm working with.

• First, I'm not ready to give up on Pyro and send him down the road. I don't think he's irredeemable or inherently aggressive. At this point, even though some days are tough, I DO enjoy working with him. I think I haven't figured out what exactly it is he needs, and I'm grateful to have the full support of my husband and Jen in whatever I decide. I still have hope that we can get through this, and I'll have a partnership with a safe, willing, fun boy on the other side.
• Safety (both for myself and the other boarders) remains priority number one as I continue to work with Pyro.
• While it often felt like his undesirable behavior, such as biting, was unpredictable, I have begun piecing together a list of suspected triggers:
• High-arousal transitions 
• Examples:
• Turnout after being stalled
• Being brought in from turnout (especially compounded by changes in routine or herdmates running around over aroused)
• Being moved off the grass back into the dry lot during spring transition to grazing (inherently a change in routine as the duration of grazing time each day is extended, can also be compounded by the herd being excited/running around)
• Resource guarding
• Examples:
• An empty hay net being retrieved from near him in the stall
• Being asked to move away from his stall at dinner time
• Being asked to move away from the single hay feeder in the dry lot
• Physical discomfort
• Examples:
• Palpation of sore areas
• Being asked to move in ways that are uncomfortable
• While I don't fear for my safety while handling Pyro, there IS some very real fear of him and what he's capable of in the barn. This is understandable based on some of the experiences others have had with him. All horses are large, powerful animals and we humans who interact with them are responsible for avoiding putting ourselves in potentially dangerous situations. That said, I want to do everything in my power to give my barn family peace of mind in our communal "happy place". 
• It is unfair to ask Pyro to push through extreme pain. However, it's unrealistic to remove all discomfort from his life. He's going to be sore some days post training. He's likely going to do something stupid playing in the pasture and hurt himself. He will age and develop the aches that come with that. He needs to be able to tolerate some discomfort without lashing out. 
• I do think Pyro benefits from consistent work, physically and mentally, and he will need calm, clear, consistent handling and training to make the changes I wish to see in him. He's not the type I can just "turn out to grow" and hope he'll come in months later as a perfect, mature creature. Nor do I think the other extreme, "putting him to work" until he's shut down, is the answer.
• I won't be able to do this on my own. I will need professional help and continue to rely on the support of my fellow co-op members.

wall-o-text break

As I sit back and look at where I'd ideally like to get with Pyro, it boils down to having a partnership with a horse who knows how to manage his emotions/arousal state, can be safely handled by boarders/vets/etc, is willing to try as we work together, and is calm and confident when we go on adventures. 

More of this feeling, please

As I work towards that goal, here are the current pieces of my plan (which I reserve the right to adjust as needed).

1. Mitigate Risk and Bring Peace of Mind to the Barn Family
• Thus far, the rule we implemented that Pyro does not get to approach us or be in the other boarders' space has been successful. (Obviously, I approach him as I work and handle him, but it's always on my terms.) Between that and the policy of leaving him for me to deal with if he's uncooperative, we have successfully prevented him from making contact with anyone (*knocks on wood*). 
• Unlike with the other horses, co-op members are not required to pick his feet when bringing the herd in with snow on the ground. (I'm handling him every day, so I do it myself.)
• If for some random reason they need to fill his hay pillow while he's in his stall, rather than having them retrieve the one under his feet I leave a spare empty pillow on his stall front. If it's not there, it's acceptable to chuck his hay in loose without entering his stall.
• The 24/7 muzzle solution is prepped and ready for grass season, eliminating the need to muzzle/unmuzzle him daily.
• I have opened up the conversation to explore alternative possible logistics that would further decrease the need for other co-op members to handle him daily, even from a distance. I don't see this as a long-term solution, but more of a short-term way to decrease fear and worry while I get a chance to be Pyro's sole handler. The details need to be hammered out, but I may be able to give him 24/7 turnout with a companion for this summer.
2. Keep Pyro in Consistent Work... Without Burning Myself Out
• With PSSM1 ruled out, I don't feel the pressure to work Pyro 365 days a year. However, he does need consistent work to make progress towards my goal, provide him with mental stimulation to be happy, and help him use correct biomechanics. I will aim for 6 days of "work" a week, with plenty of variety.
• I recognize that this is still a big commitment in time and energy. Therefore, I have to take care of myself first and foremost, listening to my body and checking in with my mental health. Developing Pyro can't come at the detriment of my physical or mental health. If that starts to happen, I need to reevaluate.
3. Teach Pyro to Manage his Emotions in High Arousal Environments
• This will be a big focus of our training work. He needs to be able to self regulate.
• While we have been striving to keep his routine as consistent as possible when the other boarders are doing their co-op shifts, I will need to set up situations that provide him opportunity to learn, while not pushing him so far past threshold that he can't even think, just react.
4. Address Pyro's Resource Guarding
• I have already begun to work on this with success. I've been able to back him away from his feed pan, have him wait there patiently, invite him forward to take a bite of grain, then back him away again. Additionally, I've worked with moving him away from the hay feeder in the dry lot at liberty. These are skills I definitely foresee him needing to practice with other people to really solidify them.
• As I've watched the geldings jostle for position around the dry lot hay feeder, I wonder if part of this resource guarding of hay might tie into stress from perceived scarcity/pain from ulcers. Something had to cause the ulcers I recently treated him for, and while he does always seem to find a position at the hay feeder eventually, he was originally going through his hay too quickly in his stall when we switched to shorter day turnout. I've adjusted his management to include a smaller hole hay pillow that helps keep him trickle feeding longer through the night, additional Outlast servings to buffer his stomach, and free choice Constant Comfort block in his stall, but I will be mindful of not making things harder on him through my management choices.
5. Increase Pyro's Tolerance for Discomfort and Teach him to Communicate it Safely
• Pyro needs to build the ability to calmly tolerate mild discomfort, such as when I palpate/feel for heat or the vet gives him a shot. Proactively building tolerance gradually will be included in our regular training.
• It must be black and white to him that responding to discomfort with teeth or feet is NEVER acceptable. Instead, he needs to be shown alternative ways to communicate discomfort. I already found some success with this in the context of palpating his inflamed pec. He learned that I would recognize it when he tensed and come back in with a lighter touch that was tolerable.
6. Continue Regular Check-Ins
• As I have to often remind myself, progress isn't linear. When working towards any goal, there are going to be good days and bad. However, it has been a very useful exercise to take a step back and look at progress on a larger month-long scale, so I intend to carry that forward. Even though I'm no longer questioning whether I want to continue with Pyro, I'm allowing myself the chance to check in with myself, see how I'm doing, see how my plan is working, and adjust as necessary.
• I also want to consistently take a step back and assess Pyro's health and well-being monthly. I keep him on a 4 week trim cycle, so it works well to trim him, take pictures to compare weight/muscling/posture, and doublecheck saddle fit all in one session. 

A Mae-mae as a little treat for making it this far

Dear Readers, if you read all of that, kudos. If not, oh well. It's mostly for me to get my thoughts out anyway. Even if this plan all goes to hell next week, it feels good to have clear direction. If I were to sell Pyro now without giving it a try, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I may change my mind in the future, and that's okay, but as of right now, I want to keep working with my boy, and I think we can make it to my goal together.