Lesson Recap - 7/30/24: Shock/Denial/Anger/Acceptance

 This week Pyro and I did our homework from the prior lesson, building balance and bend through corners. After the theatrics during that lesson, I was very pleasantly surprised that he accepted my ask quietly when we revisited it. He eventually understood the exercise well enough to rise to the challenge of cantering through a corner with much better bend and balance than we've every had before. 

Happily doing our homework

When this week's lesson rolled around, I felt excited and ready to build on our new skills. It was as hot and humid a day as I'll "comfortably" ride in before I start thinking about cancelling, but my hope was it would keep Pyro from "working HARDER, not smarter". 

It was roasty-toasty and muggy, with barely a breeze. (Photo credit: Barnmate Jen)

My barnmate Jen was back to filming for my virtual lesson, and I got the benefit of being her test subject as she tried out her new camera gear during my warm up (oh noooooo~). Our only lament was that she can't juggle her DSLR and my phone simultaneously. 

Pyro working on his Blue Steel. (Photo: Jen)

This is an exciting development for my blog Jen, as the photo quality right out of the box is lovely. 

Seriously, this is in a dark corner of our indoor arena! (Photo: Jen)

As we warmed up, touching base on riding corners in all three gaits, I was pleased with how responsive and non-dramatic Pyro was. We ended up conserving energy and switching gears to practicing walking on a loose rein, gathering up the walk, halting square, backing with clear diagonal pairs and without dropping his chest, and continuing to think forward. No, we didn't get all those pieces together in every repetition, but it was good practice.

I love seeing those pricked "morgan" ears. (Photo: Jen)

Once Coach JT logged on, she commented that Pyro was moving the bit around a lot, pushing my hands out, then curling back in, then taking it left or right. 

Exhibit A: pushing his nose out and taking my hands with (Photo: Jen)

I needed to set clear, consistent boundaries for where the bit could be, and he needed to sort out how to move without pushing, pulling, or bracing while respecting those boundaries. Tracking left (typically his "better" direction), I used my "oh shit" handle attached to the pommel of his saddle to "set" my hands, anchoring them in one position. Coach JT encouraged me to pay attention to how I engaged my core when resisting him taking my hands from that spot. The first direction was a STUGGLE. Pyro started his way through the shock/denial/anger/acceptance (SDAA) cycle.

Pyro: "Mom, this is BULL$#@!"... spoken like a true 5-year-old. (Photo: Jen)

He worked through being startled by the change in my hands, trying multiple times to move the bit like he was used to, and pinning his ears at me when it didn't work (hello shock/denial/anger). While he never really stopped leaning on me in that first attempt, he DID become much steadier in my anchored hands. I thanked him for his effort, let him catch his breath, and prepared myself to try again the other direction. (Reminder, it was HOT, and we were both a little gassed out after that first attempt.) When we switched to tracking right (usually his more difficult direction as he likes to throw his shoulders right), it was like I was riding a whole new horse.

While I don't have photos from DURING my lesson, I can tell you I was VERY happy with his breakthrough. (Photo: Jen)

Suddenly, he just "got it", staying soft, balancing, bending, and letting me set the clear parameters of where the bit would be. Hooray for making it to acceptance! I blame our homework for his improved ability to stand up his right shoulder. We tested his understanding by going back the other direction, and it held! He gave me some lovely trot/canter/trot transitions, maintaining a level balance and carrying himself without bouncing around in the contact. 

These photos from warmup show how he typically canters by going croup-high...

...then head high, rocking like a rocking horse rather than maintaining a steady level balance. (Photos: Jen)

As an additional bonus, as things started clicking for Pyro, my own balance improved. Rather than being dragged forward by his tugs on the bit, I could sit up with shoulders over hips and sit DEEP in the saddle. 

It was evident during warm up that I struggled with tipping my shoulders forward. (Photo: Jen)

We were both hot, sweaty messes by the end, but after his hard work we cut the lesson short by about 5 minutes, ending on that exciting level-up in our understanding of how to move together. 

Melting into puddles, but happy.

As Pyro is maturing in both body and mind, it's interesting to observe how he learns. This isn't our first, nor last, trip together on the SDAA merry-go-round. If I pay attention, hopefully I can make decisions that will get him to acceptance sooner. We were assigned the homework of a weekly lunging session, using side reins and transitions to allow him to sort out his body without my inconsistencies. I'll be sure to report back on whether we run through the SDAA cycle with that exercise too, or if it translates from this lesson. 

Lesson Recap - 7/23/24: I've created a monster...

 First, a quick recap to set the scene: 

This week, Pyro and I have been focused on figuring out the gymnastic grid our friend Mary set up for us. 

First attempt at the grid ending in an oxer!

It consisted of 4 trot poles, a couple bounces, then a 1 stride, and the goal was to encourage him to sit back, keep his stride consistent, and not launch from the long spot. Honestly, I was incredibly impressed with how he handled it. 

He truly seems to enjoy it

Yes, each ride he had to try bouncing the 1 stride...

REGERTS

...but for the most part he read it very well, and he approached it in a very businesslike, unbothered way. Even raising the fences or making crossrails into verticals, etc., was met with confidence and enthusiasm. 

And very cute knees

Pyro has clearly learned how to use his body over fences, pushing off with both hinds and arching over the fence with tidy knees. Sometimes he even agrees on an appropriate take-off spot! 

Now, back to our lesson this week:

As I recapped our week to coach JT, we agreed that a good skill to work on as I thought about getting him back in the dressage ring was Pyro's balance. He tends to throw his shoulders right (regardless of direction) and careen around turns. 

JT loves the shape of his neck with the freshly roached mane.

We started by riding a square (about half the arena), making sure he bent his ribcage around my inside leg, first at the walk, then progressing to the trot. Both directions, I had to make sure his head stayed in front of his chest and he didn't bow out his right shoulder. This was clearly a difficult ask for him (my right leg got a workout), but eventually he mastered keeping his balance through those tight corners. 

Note that the grid with oxer was still clearly set up (foreshadowing)

As we transitioned the exercise into the canter, it was clear he was having difficulty balancing his body through the turns. He tried to ignore my right leg, dropping his shoulder in as we turned right. To help communicate the idea to him, we switched to cantering the straight sides of the square, then transitioning to trot through the corners, and right back up into canter. 

Visual representation of Pyro's inner monologue during this exercise

Remember how baby dragon has learned how to use his body over fences? With that new skill unlocked (and the grid RIGHT THERE), he decided to try it as an answer, launching himself straight up as I'd ask him to canter WITHOUT being allowed to push on my hands and flip his head in the air (his fav evasion technique). 

Example of the acrobatics in question. I have never been more sad to miss getting theatrics on video. 

One such leap nearly unseated me, but I managed to avoid parting ways with him, rode him through it, and convinced him the right answer to my question was to go FORWARD, not UP. I was very thankful for my silicone full seat breeches. 😅

JT: "It's a good thing you're a good rider!"... "also that your husband was there..."

Until recently, I've not asked either horse to really give me that much control over not just where we're going and at what gait, but also HOW we are going. Being on the contact without pushing, keeping his shoulders up and centered, bending his ribcage, all while doing transitions in rapid succession... it was rightfully a lot for Pyro to handle. JT coached me through letting the exercise school him, just like he would learn from knocking a pole in the jump grid when choosing to bounce the one stride. He pretty quickly sorted out organizing his body and listening to my cues for guidance, giving some really lovely bending corners to end on. 

You can't deny that this absolute goofball is athletic

While this lesson had tough moments for both of us, I feel like it included some discussions Pyro and I needed to have. Yes, I LOVE that he's learning to use his body and growing in strength. No, I'm not asking for airs above ground on the flat (A for effort though). Yes, he can learn to bend and balance his body that way. No, behaviors like leaping into the air or flipping his nose aren't the answers I'm looking for. 

Will smile for cookies

As he's just a 5 year old, I don't think it's unusual for him to be questioning and testing me as I try to build his work ethic. Hopefully, I won't have to ride him through too many more acrobatics in the near future. (Please don't let that be foreshadowing!)

He worked hard, so he got his new soy-free cookie cubes and a liniment rub

Building the relationship of mutual trust with Pyro that I want to have has been difficult for me. I want him to trust me to guide him, and I want to trust that he'll look out for me too. His personality is so different from his mother's, so I've had to really walk the fine line of "hey, I want to be your friend" and "don't be a dangerous, pushy @#$%". He is 100% play driven, and it can get us into trouble. It's clear to me that as he builds strength and gains confidence in his body, our relationship is even more important than ever. 

Use that booty for good, not evil, please.

Hopefully, I can make flatwork with me as fun and interesting for him as jumping has become for my little monster. In the meantime, I'll continue to reward his tries and strive to show him when and what type of play is acceptable. 

A Walk Down Memory Lane: When life gives you TBIs, make baby horses (aka Missy's pregnancy and Pyro's birth)

 June of 2018, I was about 4 months into recovering from my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I could finally drive again, but my cognitive stamina was still severely limited. Missy had been helping me with some of my vestibular therapy, allowing me to first sit on her while standing still to do my exercises, then progressing to doing them at the walk. 

Lots of target tracking exercises

The previous season, we had been very competitive together. We won money in team sorting with my two best friends, Sam and Stef.

Playing cowgirl, note the lack of helmet 

We also won our first full horse trial, Leg Up at the Hoosier Horse Park, competing in Beginner Novice (BN). 

Miss absolutely attacked every XC course I took her on

The ribbon and trophy are still proudly displayed in my living room.

Suddenly not having the balance to do more than walk was a bit of a shock, but I was grateful for every moment I got to spend with Missy. It gave me a sense of normalcy when I was dealing with the loss of independence and social life that came with the long road of TBI recovery. Since we were going to be taking it easy for the foreseeable future, I decided a good use of Missy's time and energy would be to have a foal, my next sport horse. I wanted something smart, hardy, and capable of enjoying both western and english sports with me. Ideally, it would be no taller than Miss, as I have a pretty short leg. Enter Peanut, a small, dark chestnut morgan stallion, owned by friends of mine whose herd I trimmed. 

Mr. Short, Dark, and Handsome

Since I trimmed him and knew him personally, I was well acquainted with his fun, curious personality, floaty gaits, and extremely good feet. He was turned out with his gelding sons with no issues and loved playing with toys. Since Miss has a tendency to be a bit stiff  from how muscle bound she is and has abscess prone feet, I figured Peanut might improve upon some of her "flaws", while keeping the personality and brains I appreciated about them both. (A bay filly would check all the boxes.)

Young Peanut

So, I gave my friends two trims for free (the equivalent of $70), and Missy got a week of debauchery with Peanut. We got very lucky with pasture breeding, and I don't think I'd attempt it again, knowing what I know now. But, ignorance is bliss!

Missy's idea of paradise

Two weeks later, her ultrasound included a happy black dot, and two weeks after that, we confirmed a healthy heartbeat. 

Baby Peanut!

In hindsight, that breeding was incredibly easy. Like, the mystic bullshit of the universe seems to have WANTED me to have that baby horse. 

My future dragonmare baby

Missy's pregnancy went by without incident. I continued to very lightly work with her through my TBI recovery, and not much else changed. 

Little moments with her did my mental health so much good.

When it came time to pull Missy off of fescue and get her settled where she would eventually foal out, I brought her to my uncle's stable where she could be dry lotted/turned out in the arena. By the start of May, Missy was very hot, VERY round, and we only did a little liberty work to keep her mind engaged. Most of my time with her was spent grooming and just trying to make her comfortable. 

A very pregnant dragonmare

On May 14th, I had just shot my uncle a text saying I was having a "bad brain day" plagued with Post Concussion Syndrome (PCS) symptoms, and that I didn't think I'd be able to drive down to the stable that day. His response was something along the lines of, "okay, Missy's got him up and nursing". WHAT?! 

My first view of Missy and her baby

Apparently, Missy had waited until my uncle turned her out in the round pen and went to town to run errands so she could have some peace and quiet to have her baby. The foal was indeed up, dry, and nursing when he returned. 

Look at those spots!

My uncle finally got a good enough look to tell me I had a new colt (not the filly I had hoped for), and when the vet made it out to check on momma and foal, all was well. My now husband picked me up and drove me down to the stable to meet my new horse and congratulate Missy, who turned out to be the perfect mother. 

He was so darling and tiny.

Missy knew exactly what to do, and she never had any issue with me approaching her and her baby. 

My favorite picture of Miss as a new mother

Even at a young age, it was clear this colt was a spunky little firecracker. After tossing around a few name options, Momma's Lil' Pyromaniac, barn name Pyro, stuck. Since Miss is my "dragonmare", raising this feisty baby of hers was going to be like playing with fire. 

Dragonmare and Baby dragon

In spite of everything I was dealing with post-TBI, the opportunity to breed Missy and later train her son was such a gift that I likely wouldn't have received if I hadn't been forced to take a step back from training and competing. As the saying goes, when life gives you TBIs, make baby horses... or something like that.

Lesson Recap - 7/16/24: Let's get to work, Miss!

 I've been taking virtual lessons from Jen Truett (JT) of Dancing Horse Farm for coming up on 3 years now. She is a USDF FEI "B" Certified Instructor who competes with her Grand Prix horse, Absolute Dream (aka "Dreamy"). To say her coaching has been transformational for me is an understatement, and we got to meet for a virtual lesson for the first time in a few weeks. 

JT and Dreamy

The day prior, I had learned Missy was still not in foal this year, despite our attempts, so I decided to saddle her up for the lesson instead of Pyro for the first time in a long while.

Very much in heat, much to my disappointment.

During breeding season, she had gotten walk work and been turned out on a hill, but that was about it (except for one very brief chance to free jump). I was focusing on maintaining fitness while keeping stress to a minimum.  

She loves to jump, so we compromised with very few, very small jumps.

No longer worried about trying to guard a delicate maybe-baby, I wanted JT's opinion on Missy's fitness level and appropriate skills to work on. Since Miss is 22 years old, we do a lot of her dressage training as a sort of physical therapy, helping her stay strong, straight, even, and supple despite her arthritis and old patterns of movement. I want to keep her happy and comfortable for as long as possible. 

Sometimes just standing square while eating is a win.

After a long walk warm-up, Miss felt ready to go to work in her new-to-us WOW saddle and iconic rainbow gear.

Life is short. Buy the saddle pad.

JT was happy to see her and thought she looked great right off the bat (especially her lush tail that I've been keeping bagged).

Worth the time and money spent on hair products.

It was the first time JT had seen us in the WOW saddle, and despite me having it adjusted a little pommel high, she liked the position it put me in. As she coached me through asking Miss to bring her shoulders up and left, bend her rib cage around my right leg, and step under herself with her right hind (all straightness issues stemming from my own crookedness), she asked if I had lost some weight and commented that I looked "solid" in the saddle, with much better muscle tone. This is a huge improvement for me and something I've been working hard on!

The following ride, feeling secure and confident.

I really feel my CrossFit workouts and changes in diet in the past month have made the difference here. In CrossFit, especially the Olympic Lifting class, my focus has been on good biomechanics throughout the movements. Diet-wise, I've been keeping my carbohydrate intake under 150g per day and making sure to get 130-150g protein per day. I've started slowly, but steadily, losing weight instead of gradually putting it on like I have been for a few years. I've also gained a lot of strength, stamina, and proprioception in the areas of my core and hamstrings, which has a direct impact on my stability in the saddle. As someone with joint hypermobility AND an extra lumbar vertebra, I tend to just "hang off my joints" with little to no tone. For me, this leads to tight hip flexors and lower back with an anterior pelvic tilt. This lesson was the first where I felt I could easily keep my pelvis neutral the entire ride. 

Putting in the work OUT of the saddle.

Missy, as usual, tried hard to understand and do what I was asking of her. However, she got a little emotional in response to me controlling not only our direction and speed, but HOW she was stepping and carrying her body. It was a lot of constraint for her to deal with after not being in true work for so long. 

The following ride, asking for her shoulders to come up and left.

She required frequent breaks to "shake it out" and let the tension go. As I bring her back into work, I'm going to have to pay close attention to her emotional state, allowing her opportunities to regulate her emotions in between exercises. I'm sure she'll build that skill just like she would a muscle, increasing her emotional resillience, but I want her to enjoy her "job" as we start working together once more. 

The following ride, letting go of tension.

She felt so good that she tried to take off with me the first time I asked for the canter! Despite my cues to return to trot, she gleefully cantered down the long side, very pleased with herself. I couldn't help but laugh right along with her. This spicy mare brings so much joy to my life. 

I don't think I've every laughed so much during a lesson.

JT's assessment was that she looks great, moving through all her joints evenly, and seems ready to work in earnest again. I'm feeling physically fit and more capable of riding her than when she went on her vacation at the stud. Together, the two of us are ready for more adventures, and I'm trying to see the disappointment of Missy not being in foal as a blessing in disguise. Let's get to work, Miss!